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June 2008 
Where do feel most yourself?
Posted on Jun 27th, 2007
by 
HumanlyPossible
HumanlyPossible
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for June 27, 2007:
When I am alone, which is something I am working on, I would like to be myself all the time, whether there are people there or not. My progress in this direction makes me very eccentric, my friend said the other day "Rachel you are weird, but it suits you" I think that is one of the nicest things that anyone has said to me for ages :). Because I still feel the constraints of being around others then I tend to be a bit erratic (don't tell me you noticed!). I never want to get to a point when I simply ignore the people around me, I like to blend with the people around me, but not to the point when I am burying that which is essentially me. Basically I am a very outgoing person, who is playing peek a boo around painfully shy.
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I very much resonate with your words, Rachel.
I’ve been “weird” since day one and even now I often feel as though I am play acting when I try to make myself a part of a group…so it’s something I often do on purpose. Good exercise, I figure.
I considered myslef shy when I was younger, and was even afraid of being rejected by people. Now that I am an elder and have grown comfortable with myself, I see that I have grown much more comfortable with others as well and, while I still don’t feel like “one of the crowd” I do love being around the crowd!
Do you ever wonder how many people are actually feeling the same way? That maybe weird IS normal and we are all buying in to a huge social illusion?
And of course if we are both weird, then weird just became a little less weird anyway :)
I think you may be right… on both counts!
º //(*_*)\ º
I feel it, too!! Incredibly much so … when I read the words “very outgoing person, who is playing peek a boo around painfully shy” I understood (exactly!) the feeling. Thank you for those words!
This is one of the things I love about this site. Zaadzters are so much more willing to say “this is who I am” with out feeling the social preasure to confirm to the “norm”. It is so important for all of us to realise that we are all far more similar than we are different, and that being who we are is perfectly ok, and much nearer the norm than we often imagine.
Huge gratitude to you both for your imput it really lifts my heart.